Lesson III: Trust
withlovecb:
The thing with trust is that you have to be
extremely careful with who you give it to. Trust isn’t something that can be
given, freely. Trust is one of those things that have to be earned. I didn’t do
too well with trust in my relationship to be completely honest. There were many
times that I sought, looking for incriminating information, only to find,
absolutely nothing. I told you guys, I would lay it all out on the table. In order
to have a successful relationship with readers, I need to be relatable. And, I’m
here to tell you that trust was honestly the most difficult concept for me to
understand in my relationship. From prior involvement with men who lied about
everything from sun up to sun down, I didn’t know how to trust anyone. I became
completely guarded. I mean, full blown metal gates. I felt bad for my boyfriend
most times. What had he shown me that gave me a legit reason not to trust him? My
answer was nothing. Womanly instincts gone wrong, arguments for lack of trust,
relationship taking a turn for the worst. And all because of this stupid thing
called, “trust.” Why was it so hard for me to show the man that I loved that I
could trust him? Why was it so easy for me to love him and be in love with him
but extremely difficult for me to take his word? Why did I go digging for
information that led me to the path of nowhere? I realized my behavior started
pushing him away, making him more distant than ever before. I couldn’t get
close to him. No matter how close I was to him physically, emotionally we were
roads apart. I had to get a grip.
I had to learn that my present relationship as
well as my present partner was not my old partner, or whoever it was that broke
my trust in the past. I’ve been hurt before. But I had to really grasp the fact
that applying my past hurt to my present situation would get me absolutely
nowhere. Trust is a choice, and within a relationship, building on that trust
takes time and to be honest, I felt like if I wasn’t willing to forget my past
hurt and focus on my current relationship after 3 years then maybe I shouldn’t
be in a relationship. It wasn’t fair to him. Trust can’t be built if only one
partner is willing. Building trust
requires a mutual commitment.
Be honest with your partner. Even if it’s a
situation where you tell your partner all the time about leaving the lights on
in the closet and one day, you slip up and leave the lights on. Lol, be honest
about it. Being honest about the small things opens the doors for your partner
to be able to trust you on bigger things. Whatever that may be.
All in all, I say all that to say, I was a total
work in progress when I got into my relationship. I struggled with every key
component that I’ve discussed here on my blog. I’m blessed to have had a
partner with such patience and willingness to learn things about me and work with
me on them. A lot of men these days don’t have the willingness to understand
where their partner lacks and work with them where they may fall short.
I’m a lucky one, lol.
You guys that know me by now, know that I don’t
ever know how to sign off on my blog posts.
So, I’ll just end with Einstein,
“Whoever is careless with the truth in small
matters cannot be trusted with important matters.”
with love ♡,
- C.
